The Ramblings of a Mental Meanderthal

Thoughts on depression under the cut.

So I've been buying stuff online because I can't be bothered to actually go to the shops, and now various orders are starting to arrive. A new pair of red flats arrived a few days ago, and some hosiery got here last night. That was enough to be going on, especially after yesterday's debacle; I looked like a frumpy, dorky, butch high school teacher. A vague description of three of the items I'm wearing are basically the same today and yesterday: men's sweater vest, jeans, and a collared, button-down shirt. But everything else is different. I don't have any red shirts that fit me well, so I'm using red as an accent. (I wanted to wear something red today because it's the Chinese New Year.) The red flats from Torrid peek out from under my jeans hem. A red scarf is tied in a square knot around my neck and tucked under the collar of my white, button-down shirt. (I tried a half Windsor knot, but it just looked lumpy.) A pair of liquid polymer clay ear...

For the first 36 years of my life, I have not really cared much about shoes. (I have friends who would faint upon reading that.) Or clothes in general. I have been fat and therefore ugly since I was eleven, and all I've wanted my whole life was to fade into the wallpaper. (I know the "therefore ugly" part isn't true. I only realized that recently, and I still have my moments, but they're fewer and farther between than before.) If I did obsess about any of my garb, it was always pajamas. Pajamas are comfortable, casual, and cute, which is pretty much what I try to be on a daily basis. On the days I don't plan on going out at all, I shower and put on ... clean pajamas. When I'm coming in for the last time from being out, pajamas are the first thing I do after putting cold stuff in the fridge (if I've been shopping) and getting the mail. And when I'm out and about, most of my outfits follow the rule of keeping to one color from shoulders to sh...

Howdy, howdy, howdy! Here's a very short recap of what I've been up to since I last blogged here. In September: I worked, went to church play rehearsals, kept the hobbit hole clean, spent as much time with Max as I could, and hung out with my family. In October: I worked, went to church play rehearsals, attended both church play performances, started Mysterium play rehearsals, started slacking off on the hobbit hole maintenance, spent as much time with Max as I could (he was in the Mysterium play, too, so that was easy), and welcomed a new niece into the family. In November: I worked, went to Mysterium play rehearsals, barely kept up with the dishes in the hobbit hole, spent so much time with Max at rehearsals and performances that we only went on three or four proper dates the whole month, started Mysterium play performances, and spent Thanksgiving weekend with the family. In December: I worked, continued Mysterium play performances, shopped for Christmas, detoxed the hobbit ...

Out of the twelve toilet paper tubes I planted spinach and parsley seeds in, I had to throw two parsley out because the bottoms of the tubes had fungus on them. So I've taken them out of their holders and left them free-standing on the windowsill. I saw the first green from a parsley tube four days ago, and another sprouted the next day. This morning, FOUR of my spinach seedlings have showed green! I'm excited! I don't have access to a camera, but I will this weekend, so I'll post a photo of the tubes if I remember. Edit: Make that three parsley sprouts. I found a hint of green that I didn't see two hours ago. Not sure what Saturday holds, but Sunday is church and the laundromat (I don't like to do any kind of work on Sunday -- or any day, to be perfectly honest -- but it's gotta be done), and then Monday is house work liek woah. Mom and I are setting ourselves two five-hour shifts, breaks, and an hour's lunch break, and we're gonna work our ...

So I've started a compost pile. I've read conflicting reports; I could be able to use it in a year or as soon a few weeks. Depends on how long it takes for everything to decompose. I've thrown some shredded bills and credit card offers in a one-gallon container with a lid along with some crushed eggshells, water, soil, a few stray Cheerios, and a banana peel. It's a rubbish way to start (pun intended), but it's all I've got at the moment because I did a thorough fridge cleaning last week. I'll need a larger container eventually -- something that can hold enough compost for my patio but is still small enough for me to lug around -- but that can wait for a few weeks at least. I do need to do some research before then so I know what kind of a bin to get (and what I can afford), but that's what Google is for: Image found here . I also planted Italian parsley seeds in four toilet paper rolls and set them outside. They're getting plenty of sun, and i...

Terraforming. The term seems a bit pretentious, but I'm using the term for my tag anyway because I like it. So step one in my patio project is clearing out the rubbish that's been sitting there for over a year. (I used to think I was a pack rat, and that might be true, but really, I'm just really lazy and can't be bothered to pick up after myself.) Step two is putting things that need to go in the garage where they belong, and step three is clearing all the pots and the plot of earth of old weeds and dead plants. Step four is planting new stuff, which I have started even though I'm getting ahead of myself, and now that I've done that, I've set a deadline for steps one through three: when the seedlings are ready to be transplanted into the soil, I need to have everything else ready to go. (Step five will be making a couple of raised beds for the garden so I don't have to strain my back to maintain the garden, but I'm holding off on that until I s...