The Ramblings of a Mental Meanderthal

A friend at SparkPeople blogged about visualization. She laughed at that because she's always been fat, and she can't imagine what she'd look like if she was more slender. I haven't been thin since I was eleven, so I have no idea what I'd look like. I have dreams of coming out of this having a body like Joan Blondell's or Betty Grable's (though to be realistic, she's a little petite). Curvy, a little plump, and hourglass-ish. I love vintage clothing -- styles from the 1910s, 1940s, and 1950s especially -- and I want to make some of those outfits for myself. Dad's family genes make me worry (we're narrow of shoulder and heavy in the bum and hips), but I'm hoping Mom's genes are strong enough that I still have a rack two or three years from now. One good thing is that I do have legs. Big, but curvy. If all else fails, I will still have my legs to fall back on. Compliments about my looks (as a whole or anything specific) over the la...

I'm used to being alone. I've always liked it, even when I was a baby. I am a social animal like everyone else, but efforts to be social has usually led to me being by myself again (either excluded or overwhelmed). I've spent the last decade sitting in front of the computer, writing stories and blogging and socializing via the Internet. Not the best way to conduct my life. Then came Max, lots of dates, and having conversations with someone without our computers connecting us. It's been scary and delightful, and I've never been happier, even though I am the personification of insecurity. But I'm a little less insecure after a year of this, and acceptance from one source has given me the courage to think that maybe I don't have to be a cringing mess for the rest of my life. Not that everything's perfect. After several months of having more of a life than just LiveJournal, the solitary beast within has thrown back its head and howled, I can haz alone...

My nieces (Boo's 13 and Squirt is 6) and I made these yummy gems last night. The recipe is another of Bakerella's creations, and the recipe is here: http://www.bakerella.com/upcake-decorating-101/ It doesn't matter what kind of cupcake you start with. I had a white cake mix, and we added blue food coloring to the batter to make it a nice sky blue. We omitted the white sanding sugar, though. And as you can see, I didn't find the confetti that the recipe's creators used. Mine are more like mini jawbreakers or rainbow-colored ball bearings. Boo and I did the bulk of the work -- she'd never separated an egg before, so that was a chance to show her something new -- but we included Squirt whenever we could. VERDICT: Very good, indeed! It was worth all the effort (and all the cleanup) to see the look on Boo's face when she understood where it got its name: UP cake. She chortled for at least five minutes. I must be more circumspect about what foods I bring i...

I found this one via Spark People yesterday and tried it tonight. Chef Meg's Fake 'Fried' Cheese Sticks . Verdict: Tasty, though not as yummy as the restaurants' fried cheese sticks. (Frying will do that.) I like the healthy alternative to frying, but I think I'll stick with regular bread crumbs after the Japanese bread crumbs (panko) are gone. When I make this again, I'm going to try grinding down the panko into smaller pieces, and I'll try the egg substitute, too. (I used an egg white because it's what I had.) Also, a lot of the cheese seeped out during baking, spreading out over the baking sheet and leaving hollow shell of bread crumbs. The one I double breaded kept the cheese sealed inside, but the other three leaked.

A month to six weeks is usually when I lose motivation and give up on losing weight and exercise and eating better. I just get discouraged because I haven't lost half my weight in the few weeks since I started. (I am aware that this isn't a realistic goal, but I never claimed to have a realistic outlook on things.) Or at least that I never made much progress in that month. A lot of things are different this time. I'm not just getting up at the crack of dawn and stomping around the neighborhood where I've lived for twelve years for the sake of stomping around. (Boring.) I'm not exercising for some lofty, vague, hazy goal of "lose weight" and "be healthy." I have a specific goal* now: Dance my butt off. It's all about the dancing. I have such a good time every week in class. I feel graceful, feminine, strong, and -- dare I say it -- even a little sexy when I practice. And I want to make sure I can keep up with everyone else and have t...

Not Your Grandma's Phone Book, indeed. http://www.spokeo.com/ I entered in my first and last name and the city where I live. It accurately gave my age, address, and other personal information including a photo of the building where I live . It showed that my mother lives with me, which is accurate, though it says my father does as well, which isn't. (And it says my mom is African American ... all these years, and she never knew!) A girlfriend at LiveJournal posted the following public service announcement on her blog, and I'm pasting her instructions and commentary here (edited to take out the swearing): If you're interested in getting yourself removed from public searches (notice I didn't say you can remove yourself entirely, and I expect people who give Spokeo money can still find you): 1) do a search for yourself, 2) capture the URL that results from your search (yes, you'll have to go all the way to YOUR entry, not just the Susan Smiths in Poughkeepsie), ...

My belly dance teacher, Alexiis, told us about the classes she's going to be doing in Seal Beach this spring, so here's a little belly dance pimpage! If anyone who lives in the South Bay/Long Beach/coastal Orange County area wants to learn how to shimmy, Alexiis is starting a new eight-week class in Seal Beach. She also teaches in San Pedro once a week, which might be more convenient if you're coming down from L.A. or Torrance. From her promotional flyer: Classes are ongoing [this is the San Pedro class] and suitable for all healthy bodies. This dance style has no age, race, or size limitations. One must simply show up and be prepared to join in on learning steps from the ancient language of woman's communal dance. The Level One class reinforces grace, strength, and community through the combination of fusion and American Tribal Style influenced belly dance. Contact me for information about the eight-week class in Seal Beach, or go to the city's parks and recrea...