An Attitude of Solitude

I'm used to being alone. I've always liked it, even when I was a baby. I am a social animal like everyone else, but efforts to be social has usually led to me being by myself again (either excluded or overwhelmed). I've spent the last decade sitting in front of the computer, writing stories and blogging and socializing via the Internet. Not the best way to conduct my life.

Then came Max, lots of dates, and having conversations with someone without our computers connecting us. It's been scary and delightful, and I've never been happier, even though I am the personification of insecurity. But I'm a little less insecure after a year of this, and acceptance from one source has given me the courage to think that maybe I don't have to be a cringing mess for the rest of my life.

Not that everything's perfect. After several months of having more of a life than just LiveJournal, the solitary beast within has thrown back its head and howled, I can haz alone?! I have a singles activity Saturday afternoon that I've said I'll attend, but I'm taking a break from everything else that isn't mandatory for the next seven days. (Church, work, visiting teaching, Family Home Evening, and working out are mandatory; everything else isn't.) I need to make some decisions -- or at least make progress in the decision-making process -- about how I can be happier and how I can contribute to others' happiness as well.

I'm getting my house in order, both literally and figuratively. Spring cleaning my domicile, mind, body, and spirit!