Jabba the Hutt goes for a bike ride


I see weekend and morning bike riders on their ten-speeds with the bike shorts and helmets and looking all sleek and cool and zooming down Pacific Coast Highway. I want to be one of them. I haven't ridden a bike since 1994, though. I rode daily from when I was 6 to when I was about 16, though, so I hoped the adage "It's like riding a bike; you never forget" was true ... about riding bikes.

I'm working as a temp at City Hall. The department I work in does several different things, including overseeing the city's bike share program. Once I settled in and learned most people's names, I asked one of the people who oversees bike sharing about it -- specifically, the weight limit for the bikes. Excess weight can pop a tire or cause damage to the frame, so I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to murder a bike by riding it. He gave a number that is more than 100 lbs more than my current weight, so I created an account with the website.

And then I did nothing for a week, because I am a big ol' chicken.

I woke up at 4:30, unfortunately, so I struggled into sweats and trainers and got some water. Before dawn means low visibility, but it also means fewer people to see this. I don't have a helmet or any protective gear, which I will remedy soon, but I wanted to make sure I could do it before I spent money on something I might not need.

I walked to a hub -- warming up my creaky leg muscles -- and logged onto a bike. (It has a keypad behind the seat, so I don't need a smartphone, thank goodness.) I certainly wasn't going to start by riding on one of the busiest streets in the city, so I walked the bike into the neighborhood where I've never seen much traffic and the streets are VVVEEERRRYYY WWWIIIDDDEEE. I did not expect to be so scared about this! I started on a sidewalk that's about 500 feet long. Made sure there were no pedestrians or dogs ... or witnesses. And boy, did I wobble! (More than once, I thought, I hope that grass is as soft as it looks, 'cause I'm about to fall on it.) It was like I'd forgot what handlebars were for or how to use them. I ate up the 500 feet like they were nothing, so I got onto the street and wobbled another 500-foot block before turning. I kept riding, getting a bit more sure of myself, and I had to stop and pant for breath for a few minutes about halfway through. It was a little more than a mile total. I had the bike checked out a mere 22 minutes, including walking it and pausing to get my breath back.

My thighs are wobbly, and my shoulders ache a little. I haven't used some of these muscles in years, and it will show when I ache liek woah tomorrow. The seat is probably comfortable for an average-size person, but my wide posterior didn't like it much. The crotch of my baggy sweatpants got caught on the seat when I tried to get off the bike, and I learned why people wear leggings or bike shorts.

But there were moments when it felt like flying.

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