The Ramblings of a Mental Meanderthal

Thoughts on depression under the cut.

So I've been buying stuff online because I can't be bothered to actually go to the shops, and now various orders are starting to arrive. A new pair of red flats arrived a few days ago, and some hosiery got here last night. That was enough to be going on, especially after yesterday's debacle; I looked like a frumpy, dorky, butch high school teacher. A vague description of three of the items I'm wearing are basically the same today and yesterday: men's sweater vest, jeans, and a collared, button-down shirt. But everything else is different. I don't have any red shirts that fit me well, so I'm using red as an accent. (I wanted to wear something red today because it's the Chinese New Year.) The red flats from Torrid peek out from under my jeans hem. A red scarf is tied in a square knot around my neck and tucked under the collar of my white, button-down shirt. (I tried a half Windsor knot, but it just looked lumpy.) A pair of liquid polymer clay ear...

For the first 36 years of my life, I have not really cared much about shoes. (I have friends who would faint upon reading that.) Or clothes in general. I have been fat and therefore ugly since I was eleven, and all I've wanted my whole life was to fade into the wallpaper. (I know the "therefore ugly" part isn't true. I only realized that recently, and I still have my moments, but they're fewer and farther between than before.) If I did obsess about any of my garb, it was always pajamas. Pajamas are comfortable, casual, and cute, which is pretty much what I try to be on a daily basis. On the days I don't plan on going out at all, I shower and put on ... clean pajamas. When I'm coming in for the last time from being out, pajamas are the first thing I do after putting cold stuff in the fridge (if I've been shopping) and getting the mail. And when I'm out and about, most of my outfits follow the rule of keeping to one color from shoulders to sh...

Howdy, howdy, howdy! Here's a very short recap of what I've been up to since I last blogged here. In September: I worked, went to church play rehearsals, kept the hobbit hole clean, spent as much time with Max as I could, and hung out with my family. In October: I worked, went to church play rehearsals, attended both church play performances, started Mysterium play rehearsals, started slacking off on the hobbit hole maintenance, spent as much time with Max as I could (he was in the Mysterium play, too, so that was easy), and welcomed a new niece into the family. In November: I worked, went to Mysterium play rehearsals, barely kept up with the dishes in the hobbit hole, spent so much time with Max at rehearsals and performances that we only went on three or four proper dates the whole month, started Mysterium play performances, and spent Thanksgiving weekend with the family. In December: I worked, continued Mysterium play performances, shopped for Christmas, detoxed the hobbit ...